Still Holding A Purpose

Yes, I am recovering from anorexia. Yes, I fight a battle inside. Yes, God still loves me. And yes, His purpose for me still stands.

I've had so many ups and downs these last few years. I have been through so many dark tunnels. I have cried so many tears. I have been through many valleys. But, I have also been on top of many mountains. I have seen the light break through the night. I have laughed many laughs and smiled many smiles. These few years have been some tough ones.

I've been going through some of my old blog posts and it has brought back many many memories. Some good ones, but then I've relived many dark times. I haven't been through all the posts, but I have read quite a few of them. And the scary thing is, I started this blog AFTER I was released from the hospital. So I still haven't been through my darkest times before that...

I am completely amazed at how I have taken this life and this heart through so many battles, rocky roads and valleys filled with thorns. I have chased after so many other lovers. I have worshiped my own idols. I have destroyed my body, the place where God's Holy Spirit dwells within me. But through it all, every time I broke a promise and cheated on Him, He still held my purpose in the palm of His hand. Waiting for the day when I would call upon His name....asking for His healing. Throwing away all the useless things I clung to and held tight to His hand. No matter what happened, my purpose still stood. It never changed...it amazes me. Blows my mind.

What an amazing God we serve. I treated Him bad. I have doubted His strength. I have refused His grace, mercy and strength...MANY times. I have questioned His love for me. But in the end, I am still His. I'm awestruck....my purpose still stands strong, even though I have battered and bruised it.

So, beautiful warrior...if you feel as if you have messed up the perfect plan Your Lord has for your life due to your own sinful mistakes, think again! No matter what you do, you never have enough power to change the plans He set out before you took one step in this crazy world. He will find a way around anything to make sure you fulfill the purpose He set before you. This isn't to mean that we should do whatever we want and trust He will turn it around, by no means! What I am saying is that if you are like me and have made mistakes that you feel have gotten you off the path God had you on and totally ruined your purpose in this life, there is hope. Your purpose still stands strong, firm and shinning beautifully in the Healing Hands of your One True Lover...Jesus Christ.

"I know that You can do all things and that no plan of Yours can be ruined." Job 42:2

"The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations." Psalm 33:11