Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completelyI'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
And you love me just as I am
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
Natalie Grant actually suffered from bulimia for many years. She is now recovered. She has won many awards for her singing, she is married and has twin girls.
I listened to this song this morning and I realized for the past two years I haven't be being the "real me". Although I don't know if I will ever know exactly who I am, because God is transforming us each day, I have been holding myself back from becoming the real me. But, through all of this, God still sees the real me. This whole time I've been "hiding in my skin", I've been hiding behind my "perfect smile", but God always looks past that and looks at the real me. The real me that He created. I am broken from within, but He still sees beauty. There's no need to try and hid behind anything from God, He looks past all of that, no matter how hard I try. I'm trying to loosen my grasp, it's time to come out from behind my perfect smile, my perfect mask and be the real me.
Today has been good. I have felt really fat the last few days, but I fought through it. I am ready to recover. It's still been very hard, but I'm trying to be strong and draw my strength from God. I've really been struggling with wanting to workout lately. Hopefully in a few more weeks they will release me to start doing some stuff again. Tomorrow is dr. day, I go to Dr. Vance and to the clinic. So I probably won't write till I get home tomorrow afternoon... I hope everyone has had a good start to the week!
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
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