Wow...I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted!!!
I've had my bad days and times when I want to give up, but there has been more times when I've held on and stood strong. I've came a very long way and as I look back I'm amazed at how God has began this healing process. Not only is He daily healing my body and getting me back to health, He is healing my soul. I'm growing closer to Him and I'm learning more and more to accept the way He thinks about me.
I've been released to start back to cheerleading. I'm jogging every day (except Sunday) and also weight training. I don't have much more weight to gain until I am totally released from the clinic. I am still struggling VERY badly with measuring though. I am basically still measuring all my meals and thats the main thing holding me back from being released. Twister is fading away from many parts of my life, but there are still many aspects he still controls. There are still times when I turn to him when I become stressed or upset. I still lay in bed some nights and wish I was caught back up in that addicting cycle of my anorexia. I am still by no means recovered yet, I have come a long way in my physical recovery, but as for the mental, there are still many many things I have to work on. It's still a daily struggle. I am reminded of it every meal and every time I look in the mirror.
I am stronger now. Each day I learn to lean more on God. I am learning to focus more on Him and as I do, the fight becomes easier & I don't worry as much about my body. I still have a long way until I reach the end of this, but I guess thats the meaning of a "recovering anorexic."
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