The Ugly Side

Everywhere you look, the world seems to be glamorizing thinness. Anorexia. Bulimia. Eating Disorders. Young girls see teenagers, even girls not much older than them, becoming deathly thin and they begin to believe that this is beautiful. From the surface, eating disorders can seem beautiful. They can seem glamorous. They can seem harmless, just a means of loosing some weight and feeling good about yourself. But what outsiders do not realize is the ugly side of eating disorders, which are MANY.

People don't realize or could even begin to understand what you go through with an eating disorder. The side effects and pain you go through is not even close to worth being thin and "beautiful". I don't think I ever described my stay in the hospital...I believe I need to do that.

I was admitted into Children's Hospital on May 6, 2008 and was released 8 days later. I was weighed, measured for height, and told to change and get into the bed. I was hooked up to IV fluids and had blood work done. My sink was taped off. My bathroom was locked. My trash cans were taken out of the room, as well as the latex gloves. I could have no bags hidden in drawers. And I could bring no gum, candy or food. Now, the sink being taped off, bathroom locked and trash can and gloves taken out were mostly for girls with bulimia who would binge. Which I didn't do, but they had to take the precautions anyway. The absolute hardest thing (besides the eating ) was that I had only 5 minutes each day to get out of my bed, take a shower and get back in the bed. Other than that, the only time I was allowed to get out of bed was when I went to the restroom, which was very annoying since my bathroom was locked and I had to call a nurse EVERY time I had to go!! I had blood work done at least twice a day. I had food that was placed in front of me that I was to eat, and if I didn't eat it I had to drink the equivalent in Ensure's. If I refused to drink the Ensure, they would insert a feeding tube. My family could not be in there while I ate, but a nurse HAD to be to make sure I wasn't hiding food. My parent's couldn't stay over night. My door had to be open at all times so the nurses could make sure I wasn't getting up and exercising. Needless to say, the day I was released was one of the best days of my life!!

Also some ugly sides that come with eating disorders are: you loose your hair. I used to have THiCK hair, but once I got very sick, you would have never known. My hair still isn't as thick as it used to be. You also are cold ALL the time. I was never warm. Everyone around me would be burning up and I would be freezing with a hoodie on. Your body grows a layer of hair all over your body to try and keep your body warm. The hair on your arms grown very long trying to insulate your body. You are weak ALL the time. I could never do anything. I was tired ALL the time, taking naps pretty much everyday. Anorexics are very vulnerable to osteoporosis. And dry skin. Oh my gosh! My skin used to be dry 24/7 from being so severely dehydrated. It was horrible. Bulimics risk rupture of the esophagus from the frequent binging. The teeth become yellow and decay from stomach acids as well. There are MANY other health consequences from all kinds of ED's which I do not have time to share.

Click here to read about the health consequences from the NEDA.

When you are controlled by an ED, basically, you are a salve to an ED. Your a zombie, that was created for more, but becomes lost in the dangers of trying to be perfect, thin, in control, and beautiful.

Look at these pictures and tell me if this is "beautiful" to you, or if it truly makes you see the ugly side of ED's...it certainly makes me wonder why I am so addicted to them.