Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In the end

Sorry for not posting lately...:/ my bad!

Since Sunday I have been doing better. I know I have a life to live.
Yesterday was clinic day. I actually lost some weight, but remember I've been having a pretty good relapse. Next week, if I've lost any more I'm going back into the hospital. I have to come with my bags packed. I am literally right on the edge and Twister is behind me trying to push me.. but I don't think it will happen. While I am still struggling, it actually has been a little easier since I've turned it over to God (imagine that! lol). I have given into Twister a few times, but I know God doesn't expect me to be perfect, He knows I will fail Him many times. I am a little scared, I'm scared to really commit to recovery. But I know to become healthy I am going to have to be dedicated. Bonnie told Mama yesterday that most of the girls who decide they really want to get well just get sick & tired of being sick & tired... I think I am. I subscribed to a text message thing were this magazine texts you things everyday like a Bible verse, song lyrics or just inspirational quotes. This is what I got today that really spoke to me: "Satan is not in the first 2 chapters of the Bible, nor the last 2. Jesus is victorious in all of history. All who know Him win in the end, too!" I know this is still going to be a daily struggle and some days will be better than others. I know this is still going to be a very long & hard journey. But now, I truly have God's hand and in the end, I will win.

I took my PLAN test today. It's the Pre-ACT test... I met some people that homeschool with my group so that was good! I hope I do ok, pray that I get a good score! lol

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there!!! You can do it, it is a lot like your friend said. I think with me that I just got tried of being in and out of hospitals and the only way for people to leave me along was to get better and you know what that means. It's ok to excerise nut you must eat too!!! I look at myself now and think it was so long ago when really it is still a everyday battle but you will make it.I think about you daily..

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