I guess I was really just fooling myself when I thought I got back on track.
I lost weight and they made me stop working out. I'm now at the 78% of my expected weight for height. At 75% they put me back in the hospital. I'm now back to weekly. I don't know what's happened. I am literally feel like I'm being torn apart. Twister wants to push me so hard that I go back into the hospital. But I really don't want to go. I mean if I did, this time I would have to stay for 2 weeks.
I'm going to be honest...I have done really bad since Tuesday. I'm not doing what I'm suppose to be doing. I just feel like giving up. I don't even feel like fighting. I know I need to trust God and rely on His strength, but to be honest to you and to myself, I'm not. I feel very far away from God right now. I don't even know why He would want me anymore, after I have failed Him so many times and broken so many promises.
Kaitlyn, i know you are an amazing girl, and if i know it then you better believe God knows it too=) he has a plan for your life. i can just see it=) but even though u might give up on him sometimes, he is never going to give up on you. and neither will i=)
ReplyDeleteI know that you are sad, but remember this is a choice to BELIEVE and have FAITH. You can DO this. You just have to take the plunge. Please email me daily.
ReplyDelete