Milk Measuring

Hello :)

Hope everyone is having a great week!! I can not believe it's already November! CRAZiNESS!!

These past two weeks have been some pretty good ones. Made some accomplishments and got some new projects I have to do.
I went to my psychiatrist Tuesday and she upped my dosage on my anti-depressant. So far so good. I go back in a month so she can check and make sure everything is going good.

I have made a big step, which to you may seen VERY small, but to me it's HUGE! I have started not measuring my milk at lunch. It's very hard...Dr. Vance and I talked about why I am so afraid to stop measuring and honestly I don't know. I guess a lot has to do with feeling like I will be out of control. Feeling like I will overeat. And feeling like I will be letting go of the tiny bit of Twister that I am still holding onto. I'm getting there, slowly...but I'm getting there!
One more step I have made was incorporating a food I used to eat into my diet again. Peanut Butter.
I ate peanut butter before I was hospitalized, while I was hospitalized and after I was released from the hospital. But, after my last really bad relapse, I stopped eating peanut butter and really started restricting my diet. Somehow, God has given me the strength to eat it again. I am proud of myself!! I had two PB sandwiches last week.

My project with Dr. Vance is to cook a family meal once a week and eat it with my family. I have gotten into my rigid eating plan and only eat sandwiches at night. So once a week I am suppose to cook something that I can eat with the family. I will be doing that tomorrow and I am honestly a little afraid. I'm afraid of basically any kind of change (especially with my eating!!). I know I can do this...I'm just praying that God will grant me to the strength to make myself do it.

Something that Dr. Vance is really worrying about is my diet. The way I have really restricted. It's not the food intake that I am restricting now, it's the food variety. I eat the same things everyday and it just goes to show I am not at all fully recovered.